Ok, for those of you who don't know me, I am a teacher. I have never seen my children's first day of school, neither has my sister, who is also a teacher. The fact that I have never seen my children on their first day enter school or get on the bus at the crucial moment of beginning has never bothered me... till this year. For some reason, this year it tore my heart out to think my five year old was going to her first day of school without me. To think that yet another child of mine is going to school without mom there to help with the parties, or to see the plays or to be her own private cheerleader is frustrating and heartbreaking.
Having said all that, here is what I do not struggle with: I do get to see freshmen start the scary first day of high school. I do get to make a difference in a teenager's life. I do get to play with children who have no idea what play looks like. I do get to make a difference in more than just the life of my children.
If it weren't for the fact that I do get to do something that is wonderful as a career, I would probably be a mess daily. But, I do get to make a difference. I get to see the strength of amazing kids. I get to see the strength of teachers and administrators who love those kids as much as me. I get to see that my kids are ok because I know that there are teachers who love my children and want to help them just like I do for the hundreds of children I get to teach every day.
So, maybe the definition of motherhood is different for me. Hopefully my kids know that I love them, that it tears me up not to be there every minute of every day for them, and that I will trade everything I have to be mom the minute it is offered.